All the Best Deadpool Jokes, from Cable to Wolverine

Originally published April 1, 2024. This article covers the best quotes and jokes from Deadpool, Deadpool 2, and Deadpool & Wolverine.

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Of all the Marvel super heroes, you’d be hard-pressed to find a person more irreverent, more vulgar, and more downright hilarious than Deadpool. Over the years, he has terrorized Spider-Man and Wolverine with his affections. He has broken the fourth wall more than most comics figures. And he has saved the day many a time — but his sanity? Beyond saving.

Deadpool was released in 2016 and its sequel, Deadpool 2, in 2018. Throughout both films, there’s no stopping Wade Wilson’s wisecracking. Then, in 2024, Deadpool & Wolverine skipped into theaters and slashed up the MCU. Up ahead you’ll find a list of each quote and some background on these finest quips and cracks — except for the ones about a certain other comics-based multiverse. Those are off limits, silly. Get ready to laugh your assassin off.

• “McAvoy or Stewart? These timelines are so confusing.”
• “It’s almost like the studio couldn’t afford another X-Man.”
• “Super hero landing! She’s gonna do a super hero landing. Wait for it!”
• “Go get ‘er, tiger.”
• “Owdie-5000!”
• “Til next time, this is your friendly neighborhood pool guy singin’ ‘I’m never gonna dance again, the way I danced with you…’”
• “Give me a bow and arrow, I’m basically Hawkeye.”
• “What did I do to piss off a grumpy old f**ker with a Winter Soldier arm?”
• “You probably get this a lot but I am a huge fan. Uncanny X-Men 183 … Thor 411 … X-Men Unlimited 12.”
• “Hey big guy, the sun’s getting real low.”
• “Zip it, Thanos!”
• “G’day, mate. There’s nothing that’ll bring me back to life faster than a big bag of Marvel cash.”
• “Friends don’t let friends leave the house looking like they fight crime for the Los Angeles Rams.”

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“McAvoy or Stewart? These timelines are so confusing.”

• Movie: Deadpool

By this point in Deadpool, Wade has already made many allusions to the X-Men but those ones would have definitely been on the naughty list — and you Sideshow fans are too classy for that. So we’re startin’ here, with one of Deadpool’s many jabs at the confused selection of Marvel super hero content back in the day. The X-Men’s fearless leader, Professor X, was played by both James McAvoy and Patrick Stewart in the various films spanning nearly two decades.

Of course, now the timelines are officially messed up thanks to Loki and Doctor Strange and Peter Parker. Deadpool is gonna have a field day when he enters the MCU.

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“It’s almost like the studio couldn’t afford another X-Man.”

• Movie: Deadpool

When Deadpool pulls up to Xavier’s school, Negasonic Teenage Warhead answers the door. She and Deadpool exchange their usual sassy banter, with Deadpool noting that he has only seen her and Colossus so far. He can’t help but wonder — where’s everybody else? Budgets and studio contracts are no joke, people.

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“Super hero landing! She’s gonna do a super hero landing. Wait for it!”

• Movie: Deadpool

Right before Angel Dust prepares to attack, Deadpool gets excited for the villain’s landing. He knows they’re “totally impractical” but you gotta love a good super hero pose. You know Yelena Belova does.

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“Go get ‘er, tiger.”

• Movie: Deadpool

As Negasonic Teenage Warhead prepares to use her powers during battle, Deadpool offers her a quick word of encouragement. If his phrase sounds familiar, it’s because there is a similar saying often used in Spider-Man media, especially by Mary Jane Watson.

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“Owdie-5000!”

• Movie: Deadpool

What’s better than a Wolverine joke? A Hugh Jackman visual gag. Honestly, Vanessa is a lucky gal.

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“Til next time, this is your friendly neighborhood pool guy singin’ ‘I’m never gonna dance again, the way I danced with you…’”

• Movie: Deadpool

If there’s one person that Deadpool loves more than Vanessa, it’s Spidey. And as he prepares to sign off before the end credits, Deadpool gives another not-so-careless nod to the friendly neighborhood hero.

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“Give me a bow and arrow, I’m basically Hawkeye.”

• Movie: Deadpool 2

It’s not out of the ordinary to see someone poking fun at Hawkeye. After all, in a world of cosmic gods, super soldiers, and human mutates, how intimidating is a guy who’s good at archery? As always, Deadpool’s powers of observation are second to none. He’s not afraid to call ’em like he sees ’em, especially when it comes to his fellow heroes. Sorry, Clint.

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“What did I do to piss off a grumpy old f**ker with a Winter Soldier arm?”

• Movie: Deadpool 2

Two for one deal! Deadpool has always had a soft spot for Cable, the mercenary from the future who is a present to us all. Two mercenaries walk into a bar and … well, you’ve seen these two together. Sparks are bound to fly from that big gun of Cable’s.

Deadpool even threw in an extra reference to Cap’s famous left-hand man, Bucky Barnes!

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“You probably get this a lot but I am a huge fan. Uncanny X-Men 183 … Thor 411 … X-Men Unlimited 12.”

• Movie: Deadpool 2

Even in the face of a massively unstoppable super-villain, Deadpool’s mouth is running. When Juggernaut appears, Wade can’t help but fangirl over the classic X-Men enemy. He lists off some of his favorite Juggernaut appearances in the comics but, unfortunately, flattery only gets Deadpool flattened by the crimson criminal.

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“Hey big guy, the sun’s getting real low.”

• Movie: Deadpool 2

You might have noticed that Deadpool has a bit of an aversion to anything green, and let’s just say it’s not because red and green are opposites. However, Deadpool does love a clever allusion, as seen here when he attempts to soothe Juggernaut with Black Widow’s old lullaby for the big green dude. Unlike Hulk, however, Juggernaut is never sleepy.

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“Zip it, Thanos!”

• Movie: Deadpool 2

In the type of franchise-crossing joke that only Deadpool is legally allowed to pull off, he calls Cable “Thanos” just before the final showdown in Deadpool 2. Of course, audiences know that actor Josh Brolin played both Nathan Summers and the Mad Titan. But for Deadpool, this is just another golden opportunity to break down that flimsy fourth wall.

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“G’day, mate. There’s nothing that’ll bring me back to life faster than a big bag of Marvel cash.”

• Movie: Deadpool & Wolverine

Wade Wilson is never one to shy away from poking fun at the studios that give him life — and that even includes all-powerful Marvel. In a cinematic universe built on cameos, Wade is well aware of the power of a nice, hefty contract. That’s why he’s so confident he’ll find a Wolverine in at least one of these TVA portals!

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“Friends don’t let friends leave the house looking like they fight crime for the Los Angeles Rams.”

• Movie: Deadpool & Wolverine

Everybody is always razzing on these super hero suits. Deadpool gives Wolverine a hard time about the (comics-accurate) bright colors of his X-Men suit, comparing them to the uniforms of the Los Angeles Rams. Wade better watch his mouth — Wolverine is always one sassy remark away from testing out the limits of Deadpool’s regeneration.

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If you’re looking to get schooled on comebacks and wisecracks, Deadpool is your best shot. After all, he graduated from the esteemed halls of Sister Margaret’s School for Wayward Girls. No better education than that.

If you’ve made it this far, you might as well go back and watch all the movies. Make it a marathon, order some chimichangas, do it nice. And a Happy April Fool’s Day to all.

What’s your favorite Wade Wilson joke? Join the conversation with other Marvel fans over at Sideshow Social Network or in side.show/geekgroup, and don’t forget to Let Your Geek Sideshow!