The 10 Best and Funniest Scream Franchise Quotes
The Scream franchise is comprised of the comedy–horror films Scream (1996), Scream 2 (1997), Scream 3 (2000), and Scream 4 (2011), all directed by Wes Craven, who also created the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise. The sequel/reboot Scream (dir. Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett) is slated to release January 14, 2022. These meta slasher stories follow Sidney Prescott, survivor and skeptic, as she’s slowly pulled into the mysteries and murders surrounding her hometown of Woodsboro, California.
The main villain of the franchise is Ghostface. The identity of the person — or people — under the mask has changed frequently over the years, but one thing remains the same: The violent visage underneath always belongs to someone with a wicked sense of humor. Below, we’ll break down the best, funniest, and most meta Scream quotes from the villains and victims alike.
“There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie.”
—Randy Meeks, Scream
At this point in the film, the teenagers of Woodsboro have gathered at a house party to escape from the frightening reality of their serial killer populated town. Randy Meeks, resident film geek and horror fan, brought his DVD collection for a murder marathon featuring Halloween. The popcorn-fueled fun comes with a lesson, though; Randy gives everyone the rundown on how to make it through a horror movie alive. The rules are: You can never have sex. You can never drink or do drugs. And never, ever, ever under any circumstances, say “I’ll be right right back.”
It’s a cheeky quote. The characters that survive don’t follow these rules, and that’s the point. Scream keeps a running commentary on the horror genre in general, and pokes fun at every part of it, including the writing tropes and sin factors.
“No, please don’t kill me, Mr. Ghostface. I want to be in the sequel!”
—Tatum Riley, Scream
Poor, poor Tatum. Pretty and popular, her hair color alone makes her prime prey for a horror movie slasher. She’s also completely confident that she’ll never be a victim. While she’s retrieving beers for the party, Tatum encounters Ghostface. Believing it’s her boyfriend playing a practical joke, she puts on a sultry and ridiculous act, fake begging for her life. Unfortunately, Ghostface turns out to be the real deal.
“If I’m right about this, I could save a man’s life. Do you know what that would do for my book sales?”
—Gale Weathers, Scream
Gale is written as a ruthless, cutthroat newswoman. She’s got ambitions bared and the teeth to match. Already her uptight personality and selfishness make for a hilarious character. This line of hers is particularly funny, however, because of its delivery. Gale has just put together some clues that could truly alter the course of Ghostface’s entire plan, allowing the heroes to win.
She speaks of saving an innocent man, Cotton — wrongfully accused of Mrs. Prescott’s murder — from death row. Then she smiles, taking a huge breath and pause as her cameraman looks on, amazed at the change. But then Gale ruins it with a quip about her book sales. The quote is classically in character, and one of the best in the first film.
“My mom and dad are gonna be so mad at me!”
—Stu Macher, Scream
Stu’s elastic face and physical humor already make him a standout comedic character in Scream. But he’s also full of sophomoric jokes and an immature attitude that works well when combined with the fact that he is one of the Ghostface slashers. Obviously Billy Loomis is the mastermind and Stu is, well, a bit of a stooge. He has a dirty mouth that works way faster than his brain. And honestly, what’s even funnier about this line is that it’s spoken in earnest. This teen just spent an entire movie killing people, yet he’s most upset by what his parents are going to think.
“There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to create a successful sequel.”
—Randy Meeks, Scream 2
Oh, Randy. In Scream 2, the film student is back with all the wisdom his friends need to survive — and he gives a little advice for the filmmakers in the process. Far too happy to be discussing the potential murders, Randy goes on to say the second movie in a franchise should include a bigger body count, more elaborate death scenes, and way more blood and gore, or “carnage candy.” He also warns all heroes to never assume the killer is dead.
“My motive isn’t as ’90s as Mickey’s.”
—Debbie Loomis, Scream 2
In a clear homage to Friday the 13th, Billy’s mom ends up being one of the killers in Scream 2. She works with another stock-character type Ghostface named Mickey. Mickey just wants to kill, but Mrs. Loomis wants Sidney to pay for her son’s death, and she’ll double cross anyone to get the most personally fulfilling result. Therefore she eventually betrays Mickey to get her own revenge, criticizing his “the movies made me do it” and jealousy motivations.
“Introducing Sidney the victim, Sidney the survivor, SIDNEY THE STAR!”
—Roman Bridger, Scream 3
Roman Bridger is Sidney’s half-brother and one of the most diabolical Ghostface slashers. He is also a Hollywood film director. And even while he’s threatening Sidney, he can’t help but bring the melodrama into his monologue. What’s supposed to be terrifying comes across as ridiculous because it’s so self-aggrandizing and overdone.
“You forgot the first rule of remakes, Jill. Don’t f*** with the original!”
—Sidney Prescott, Scream 4
In Scream 4, Jill Roberts tries to recreate a lot of the circumstances and horror of the first Woodsboro murder spree. This is to terrorize her cousin, Sidney, as well as to switch who gets more fame and fortune out of the whole situation. Jill’s jealous of Sidney’s supposed spotlight, and thus teams up with her boyfriend to get twisted recognition as the most popular Prescott. Sidney has a few choice words about that.
“Come on Mr. Ghostface, whisper to me! Aren’t you supposed to ask me a question?”
—Kirby Reed, Scream 4
By the fourth Scream film, most everybody’s pretty tired of the Ghostface thing. They’re tired of the press and infamy, and they’ve developed thick skin when it comes to prank callers. Kirby, a friend of Sidney’s cousin Jill Roberts, gets a call from a so-called Ghostface. She mocks the caller, telling the person how the interaction is supposed to go based on the previous films. It’s silly just until it’s scary.
“I don’t know about you, but I feel a whole lot better.”
—Sidney Prescott, Scream 4
Out of context this quote isn’t the funniest. But within the film, this is a true side-splitter because Sidney is saying it to Jill Roberts’ corpse after she’s just shot Jill — Scream 4‘s big bad — in the chest. Yeah, Sidney, we think you definitely feel better than a dead serial killer. Well played.
What’s your favorite Scream quote? Let us know in the comments, and don’t forget to Let Your Geek Sideshow!