G.I. Joe Declassified: Who Is Cold Slither?

G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero (1983 – 1986) is an American animated television series based on Hasbro’s G.I. Joe action figure line. The cartoon spans 95 total episodes, following a team of G.I. heroes. G.I. Joe directly combats the organization Cobra, who aim to undermine international governments and seize control of the world. Cobra Commander spares no effort in his attempts.

However, Cobra’s plans are often elaborate. When these fail, the commander’s desperation increases. He develops outlandish ways to take over or thwart G.I. Joe. One of those plans involves creating what is, essentially, a boy group. Cold Slither is an infamous — and yet also very beloved — addition to G.I. Joe canon.

---

Cold Slither is from G.I. Joe

Operation: Cold Slither was supposed to be simple. Cobra wanted to lull and dull the minds of listeners by slipping subliminal messaging into a music album. He and the Baroness paid the mercenaries Zartan and the Dreadnocks handsomely for donning disguises and recording some music. Of course, managing a band can get pretty tricky. Cobra Commander soon faces the wrath of disgruntled musicians, union representatives, and difficult directors.

At the height of its success, however, Cold Slither raises a lot of profit for Cobra. The band fills stadiums and hits the top of the charts. The commander uses the incredible sales to pay off his own debt and fund future endeavors by the organization. By all accounts, this outwardly silly approach was one of Cobra’s best ideas to date.

---

Cold Slither is a fictional heavy metal band

Heavy metal was heavily criticized and outright denounced during the 1980s. Many adults feared the genre would lead children to act out or become “deviants.” It was labeled the devil’s music, depraved, et cetera. No wonder, then, the G.I. Joe cartoon utilized heavy metal for their villainous organization, who packed a bunch of evil subliminal messaging into their lyrics. Cold Slither aimed to brainwash America’s youth through music. It was a pitch-perfect plot for the ’80s.

Of course, we know that music from every genre connects and heals fans. Listening to heavy metal is just as “dangerous” for kids as playing Dungeons & Dragons. But moral panic and outrage are powerful dividers, especially in the U.S. Thankfully, G.I. Joe‘s tongue-in-cheek reference to the show’s political climate ends with the Joes themselves putting on a concert, proving how music ultimately unites, saves, and soothes us.

---

Zartan and the Dreadnoks created certified hits

But let’s also be clear — the kids really dug Cold Slither! And so did some of the Joes. Blasting Cold Slither music on their boom boxes, kids skipped school and abandoned their classrooms to focus on becoming fans. Audiences, held captive with awe, bowed to the Baroness’ commands. Suddenly, Cobra occupied television waves and the minds of everyone glued to their screens.

Additionally, military discipline slipped on the Joe team, which helped Duke notice the secret codes embedded in the instrumentation and videos. Is it really so bad that these people wanted to let loose or escape into the music? Ultimately, yes, because it was Cobra’s doing. But how fun, in the meantime! Plus, it’s really impressive how famous Cold Slither got in such a short time period.

---

See Cold Slither perform LIVE at SDCC!

Cartoons can come to life! Who knew? Cold Slither will take the stage on Thursday, July 24, 2025 at San Diego Comic-Con. They’re performing at Brick by Brick, a venue in the heart of the convention happenings on Buenos Avenue. Appearing for one night only, real metal musicians will be in full costume and makeup to create the most authentic experience possible. Don’t miss Gus Rios as Zartan, Ross Sewage as Torch, Matt Harvey as Ripper, and Andy Selway as Buzzer!

---

Raise your hands, drumsticks, guitars, or mics if you’re headed to SDCC to see Cold Slither! Share your excitement about this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity at side.show/geekgroup or in the Sideshow Social Network. And as always, don’t forget to Let Your Geek Sideshow!