Talk to the Horn: 5 Unicorns You Don’t Want to Mess With

We know what you’re thinking. What could possibly be scary about unicorns? These majestic mythical horses are friendly, forest-dwelling, fairy-adjacent creatures capable of great kindness. Well, reader, unicorns are also capable of great cruelty. They can’t all be soft and sweet rainbow ponies.

Killer unicorns abound in media. From the bloodthirsty beast in The Cabin in the Woods to YouTube’s dark overlord Charlie the Unicorn, and even the machines of destruction in Robot Unicorn Attack, unicorns can often be the antithesis of cute and cuddly. Below, let’s look at 5 pop culture unicorns you definitely don’t want to mess with.

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Lady Rainicorn from Adventure Time

While usually laid back and calm, Lady Rainicorn can go off if provoked. She’s also incredibly powerful, exhibiting abilities such as flight, light-beam firing, and more. Additionally, she can phase through walls, use her horn to change the color of anything she wants, and play the viola.

Take that as dangerous or not. It’s up to you. With a love of all things happy and aesthetic, however, those powers definitely have the potential to be overwhelming — or, at the very least, really annoying.

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Swift Wind from Masters of the Universe

Swift Wind starts out as an ordinary domestic horse. But once he’s transformed, he’s a force to be reckoned with! Not only is he physically strong, he’s got quite the attitude. Coupled with his quick-witted intelligence, that brash personality has led to Swift Wind starting horse uprisings and declaring himself an epic hero.

You know what they say about a gift horse… Of course, if you and She-Ra get along, Swift Wind might just tolerate you.

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RX-0 Gundam Unicorn Suit from Gundam

A Gundam suit is already something you shouldn’t mess with. But a unicorn Gundam? You better run to the next planet to escape this one. Entrusted with a secret that could shake humanity, this Singularity One is clearly good at defending itself. Plus, its offensive skills are amazing, too. Why else would it be the key to winning the war?

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Steampunk Unicorn from Manas SUM

C’mon. Just look at this dapper dude. Now, their intriguing fashion choices might compel you to get closer, but watch out! Those blue eyes are cold as ice. This Steampunk Unicorn means business. Whether they are whacking you with their cane or hammering you with their hooves, they’ve clearly got violence coursing through their corset-constricted heart.

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Unicorns from DC Comics’ Shazam! Fury of the Gods

Often, unicorns are depicted as the most legendary of mythical beasts. Some might assume this is because of their lustrous manes or sparkling horns. However, when the Daughters of Atlas bring terror upon Philadelphia, only the fearsome power of a unicorn can banish the hordes of mythological creatures. With a little bit of sugar, AKA handfuls of Skittles, Darla Dudley figures out how to tame the unicorns and unleash waves of spice.

As sweet little Darla said, “Taste the rainbow, moth-” … well, you get the point. Go Darla!

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Which of these unicorns would you most likely run away from? Discuss these perilous ponies with other fans in our Atomic Misfits Facebook Group, and don’t forget to Let Your Geek Sideshow!