Horror-Themed Kitchenware to Cook Up Somethin’ Scary
One of the most common settings for a horror story is within the house. Many horror fans might first think of the creepy attic, or the abandoned basement, or even the shower. But there’s another room that is also equally horrific: the kitchen.
And no, it’s not because those leftovers in the back of your fridge from twoish weeks ago have suddenly sprouted legs. Well, it could be. But besides that, kitchen items are horrific by nature — it is where the knives (usually) live in a house, after all!
With that in mind, here’s a guide to our best horror collectibles for your kitchen. Whatever you whip up, it’s sure to be a scream.
Court of the Dead Spoiled Apple
Apples are one of the hallmarks of fall cuisine. Apple pie, apple cider, apple cider doughnuts, the mouthwatering list goes on. But if we’re being really honest with our spooky selves, there’s another dish that every Halloween fan keeps on hand: the poisoned apple. That’s why the Court of the Dead Spoiled Apple is the perfect addition to your kitchen spread. On its own, the pitted eyes and gnarled stem are enough to make any visitor shriek in terror. But nestled among a bowl of otherwise pristine apples? That’s where this Spoiled Apple will really shine.
Beetlejuice Sandworm Metal Bottle Opener
Sandworms — ya love to hate ’em! These black-and-white behemoths from Saturn are ferocious when they’ve found a target, which is just perfect for a bottle opener. No beverage cap is safe from the prying lips of a Beetlejuice Sandworm Bottle Opener. On the plus side, these sandworms are not nearly as big as the ones that terrorized Adam and Barbara Maitland before gobbling down Beetlejuice himself. They can fit right inside your kitchen drawer or cabinet, just waiting to be released upon a cold beverage.
Elvira Goblet
The Mistress of the Dark, The Queen of Halloween, and now The Lady of Libations — it’s Elvira! With every tip and sip, this Elvira Goblet by Enesco takes you back to a simpler time full of big brews and big boos … hey, get your mind out of the goblet! Elvira’s bat-like wings extend across the rim of the collectible drinkware, which also features a spooky spider web design inlaid with blood-red faux rubies. No matter what your beverage of choice is, the Elvira Goblet is the perfect companion for a macabre movie marathon.
Death Star Popcorn Maker
Yes, you’re totally right. Star Wars™ is not a horror franchise, not even remotely close. However, think of the absolute destructive power of the Death Star™. This massive machine was capable of annihilating Alderaan™ in a matter of seconds. With the Death Star Popcorn Maker, you too can wield this awesom- oops sorry, awful power when you chomp down on your popcorn snack. Every bite is the obliteration of a tiny fluffy corn planet, every crunch the proof that you are the most powerful figure in your own galaxy of darkness. Palpatine™ who?
Jason Voorhees Tiki Mug
Look at that mug — it’s a face only a mother could love. Unless you mean this adorably terrifying Jason Voorhees Tiki Mug, which combines the terror of Camp Crystal Lake with Geeki Tikis’ signature cuteness. Whether it’s Friday the 13th or just a weeknight in need of some
Sleep is for the Weak Tumbler Mug
Whether you start your day with a steaming cup of coffee or something with a little more edge to it, this tumbler mug is enough to stave off the nightmares. Of course, if it’s nightmares you crave, this mug can also handle any other concoction you’d like to fill it with. The Sleep is for the Weak Tumbler Mug is a collectible keepsake from Sideshow’s annual Spooktacular event, a refreshing reminder that all of your darkest fantasies are just a sip away. Cheers!
The Butcher – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Fine Art Print
Every kitchen needs a bit of fine art to inspire its cooks, and who better than the hash-slinging slasher known as Leatherface? Bubba and the rest of the Sawyer clan are infamous for their special touch in the kitchen. Under his watchful gaze, every dish you carve up is sure to be transformed into something delicious. A dinner party needs a host who knows what they’re doing, and The Butcher – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Fine Art Print by Jason Edmiston will remind all your guests just who’s in charge here. Move over, Julia Child — Leatherface is our spew-chef tonight.
Now that you’ve got some delightful demented ideas to spice up your kitchen, there’s no stopping you from throwing a terrifying spooky season celebration. Don’t forget to invite us!
What are your favorite household horrors and Halloween recipes? Tell us over in our Atomic Misfits Facebook Group, and don’t forget to Let Your Geek Sideshow!